It being February, the shops are full of red and pink stuff – valentine’s day is imminent. It’s a big industry, Valentine’s day, accounting for almost 14 billion dollars in business in 2006. The average American man spends $135 , and around 60% of the population honours the occasion.
Personally, I believe it is more honoured in the breach than the observance, as the bard put it, and there are a number of reasons for this. Firstly, if there’s a day in the calendar when I’m supposed to tell my girlfriend that I love her, surely my words mean less, not more, on that day than any other. Real sentiments are unprompted, and more meaningful for being unexpected. Research shows many gifts are motivated by a confused mixture of “obligation, self-interest and altruism“, and the sense of obligation is so strong that one online dating agency found that a huge number of men consider ending a relationship rather than deal with the hassle of it all.
I also resent the commodification of affection that Valentine’s day represents, the expectation of spending large amounts of money to prove your love. It’s not only unnecessary to buy my girlfriend a teddy bear clutching a heart to prove my affection, it would also trivialise my feelings. If my feelings are genuine, no amount of roses and cards will make them more real than they already are. And if they’re not real, no amount of chocolate will disguise it. Ironically, consumerism has turned a day that’s meant to celebrate love into a day that has cheapened love. So be honest, and say what you feel in words, not in scarlet plush.
The other thing of course, is that for those who don’t have a significant other, Valentine’s day serves only as a reminder of what they’re missing out on. Research by American florists shows that one in five women buy themselves flowers on Valentine’s day, just to make sure they don’t end up without.
There is such growing distaste for Valentine’s day that a whole parallel industry is developing, selling anti-valentine’s cards. But in my mind that’s just a clever marketing trick to make sure that even valentine’s day haters still get a chance to consume.
In short, by all means treat your nearest and dearest this February, but don’t let the card companies dictate how you do that. If you don’t want to give up on the day altogether, do something real and unique, rather than settling for off-the-shelf sentimentality. Since restaurants are booked and over-priced, go for a picnic, or cook a special meal at home. Make a card rather than buying one, or write a good old fashioned love letter.
Anyway, that’s my little rant over for this year, but before I go, my brother Michael wrote an anti-Valentine’s day song the other week. Sort of. He’s kindly allowed me to post it here for you to download. You should be able to right click and save:
And if you like it, there’s more of Michael’s music on amazingtunes.com.
The Earthbound Report 
The other thing of course, is that for those who don’t have a significant other, Valentine’s day serves only as a reminder of what they’re missing out on.
Events and ideas that assume people pair off have annoyed me for a long time. Even now I’m married, I refuse to take part in events espcially for couples; they seem to be encouraging the view that everyone should be aiming for marriage, and if you don’t make it you’re a faliure, when in reality, remaining single is just as valid and worthwhile.